Y'all ready?

I WANNA KNOOOOWWW WHAT LUVISS.....
I WANT YOU TO SHO-O-W ME.....
I WANNA FEEL WHAT LOVE IS.....
(I wanna feel it, I wanna feel it, YEAAAAHHH)
I KNOW YOU CAN SHOO-O-W ME
(wanna know wanna know)

Right, daggers ready?

One of the great things about working in the offshore environment is the multicultural nature of the job. We have Canadian, American, Brazilian/French, Mexican, Irish, Scottish, English, German, Australian, Philipino, Iraqi, Geordie, Norwegian, Danish, Polish, Argentinian

So far this trip, the best conversation was with the Iraqi. We had a great interchange of ideas.

The worst thing about all this though is that my colleague likes listening to Foreigner and Eddie Money. I don't want to be a 'jukebox hero' or see the 'soul doctor' or listen to their 'hot blooded'ness. It is a problem. And yet I'm asked when the Beasties are on, "Is this rap?"

When Lennon wanted to unite the world through music, he hadn't figured on this job...

We were having one of those marvellous conversations we have out here. They get deep, metaphysical and about various aspects of life, fatherhood (for those who are in it) and other things. So we're on about Steve's kid who wins a cross-country race by turning up late, unprepared and with a banana for lunch.

Steve has always tried to teach them life is not easy and yet this kid is breezing through things thginking, "Shit this is easy!" and Steve is doing his nut.

Anyway, the kid is like always saying but it worked the way I did it and Steve tells him otherwise. You'll fall on yer arse someday and stuff like that.

He's also teaching him how to behave, but not to take example from him. He's not to look up to him as an idol, rolemodel or anything else. You'd have to know a bit about Steve to realise this is good advice. So we're discussing this, and the whole "Do as I say, not as I do" parental philosophy, and Steve mentions that he says this on a regular basis as well as "And DON'T upset yer muther!!" to which he follows up (slightly muttering) with:

"It also upsets the fathers chances of getting laid! Do you know how difficult it is to maintain a stiffy when all she wants to do is talk about the kids?"

Well the ping pong tournie didn't quite work out the way I wanted. As in we got knocked out. It was me and the Party Chief agin the woild ma! And the gawdamn Filipinos, who are just sport demons beat us, and then we beat the Canuck AB team, and then we got wooped by the whale watcher and the bloody gun chief. Them mechanics are always good at these things. Misspent childhoods......

Billy Bathgate was watched last night. Dustin Hoffman, Nicole Kidman and Bruce Willis (for a bit). Not sure what the story was supposed to be. We all came to the conclusion it was just another chance for NK to get her kit off and give 2 full frontals for all of 2 fleeting seconds in total. Not even a good reason to watch it, even from a sailors point of view....

Well the mood is tense here today. However I cannot say anymore. All top secret what what. Let's just say that personally, I'm just a processor, not a make or break decision maker. Mine not to reason why, mine but to do or die. No point jumping around.

Now to the serious stuff. The Church. Why is it in my dreams twice in the last 3 nights.

Dream 1:
Myself and Rose got an invite to Gavin Kelly's wedding. Now Gavin is married 5 years at least and with children (I think). Anyway, the boats locker was in the crypt, so I changed my overalls and met Rose in the church. Massive 'twas with all these arches at the side leading to various chapels the size of say, a small church or large chapel. Anyway, the priest got to the "...or forever hold your peace" business and up jumps his sister calling her a trollop and slut and all sorts. Gavin turns around and starts giving out then the parents join in, and only then do I realise that we are the only friends of Gavins there, the only ones who don't know the girl, and don't have a clue whats going on. Now Gavin is wearing a light blue Del-Boy shirt and loadsa chains and chest hair. Anyway, to cut a long story short he storms off and myself and Rose, totally confused go back to my locker room to discuss it and I go back to work (in my overalls).

Dream 2:
My Uncle (who is a priest) is saying mass. Fair enough. In our local church. All normal so far. It's Sunday. Of course. It's Formula One day. Oookaaayyy....there are tellies all over the church....whyyyy.....BUT THEIR NOT SHOWING THE FORMULA ONE!! Now. For anyone who has ever wet the bed (I didn't by the way) they probably know that "mmm thats relaxing but there's something wrong here" feeling. Well thats what it was like with the TVs. There were TVs there to watch it, which was good, but they were in the church, which was bad. Conscience problem. Worse than that was the fact that they had the other channel on which was a Paramount movie. Why Paramount? Cos I had noticed that evening the clouds behind the mountain move for the first time and wondered when they put that bit in, but I digress. Now I also have the conscience problem of wanting to change the channel. All of a sudden it's communion time. We go up, but as people receive it they go out a side door and gather outside until everyone is there and then come in the back door again. I only realise this when I'm at my seat again and the only person in the place and trying not to pay attention to the TV! Aaagh. Then mass is over and Uncle Ed asks me to help him close a window at the back of the church. A really small one. And the stone was all crumbling and dusty, then there were workmen and then it gets blurry....ladders....sheets.....lightbulb.

What's it all about? In between I was in Harrods with one of the guys here, picking up every fish they had to check it out, and couldn't find a tissue to wipe my hands. Then Robert, my brother, showed up and said we'd go to a pub. Cool, but I told him none of his artsy fartsy pre-theatre drinks types. And guess what? It was. I'm scared.........

I've come up with a safety reason as to why alcohol should be allowed (in small quantities at least) on board the ship. To stop me dreaming. It's like a 14 screen Mega-Cinema every night. And the dreams are so mad I'm sure I'm not sleeping properly. I wake up knackered. I've been doing all sorts of things. Most of which I can't remember beyond 10 secs after I get up. But I feel like I have been driving, fighting, swimming, etc all night. Just a glass or two of wine would close the theatre I think.........

Today I put on a broad (to say the least) spectrum of music to suit all 3 peoples tastes. Stuff we hadn't listened to before (as opposed to reruns of 'Eddie Money') and just a while ago the Beasties came on. Marcus asked me "Is that rap?" DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD I said. He said who was deprived? Or did he mean depraved. Aussies don't have much taste in music. OK so AC bloody DC came from there. BIG deal.

Had a monster vel session today. Got it all nice and sweet. Should be good. Apart from that Marcus got a bit anal about tape labels. I told him, OK you wanna go into the Access programming and change it all so that you can put a P after a 1 then fine, but buggered if I will. WHY? 'Cos I can't thats why. You ever disected the guts of an Access database? Worse than a mad cow riddled with worms. Makes me go all squirmy inside.

Now. Back to music. We're listening to some guy who sounds like Elvis singing covers of Nirvana, Joy Division etc. Ahhhh. And I get asked "Is this rap?" Question is, is this music?

Bit slack on the updates these past two days eh? OK briefly....

- Picking velocities
- Went out on back deck and froze my fingers changing sections. Quite amazing in that it was the first time that obbies asked for processing help!! What a change from twat-brained Masham (not mentioning names)
-Today.....picking vels.

Right, back to vels and shift change.

Imagine Daddy has boundless amounts of energy and he sits you on the swing at 12 o'clock at night and gives you gentle pushes until 0300.

Then you sleep on the swing until 1100 the next day whilst he pushes a bit harder and varying the force his pushes.

You spend the next day on this swing where he varies the strength of the pushes with a really strong 3 every now and again, the third being the biggest. This goes on all day.

Now do this sitting down, working, walking, climbing stairs, eating, sleeping, going to the toilet (1 &2), having a shower brushing your teeth, watching Ireland fall out of the running for Germany 2006, watching a movie........need I go on?

My stomach muscles are sore, my brain is sore, my eyes are sore. One minute your heavy, then your light. You're either stuck to the stairs or lifted off it.

It's all well and good being cavalier about "Oh I've seen worse" which is true in this case.

What you do remember is the view from the bridge of the green, foam flecked sea, the bow digging in, the spray lashing the windows, the wind howling around the bridge wings, wathcing the big greenies 500m's away wondering will it be that big when it gets to us?

What you forget is the constant clenching of muscles, the occasional grabs for the table, keeping an eye on your tea, walking uphill and walking downhill, walking uphill and walking downhill, walking sideways along the hill. Whens bedtime?

Well things aren't too bad here. I slept like a baby last night until 9:52 when there was a mighty boom that was noted throughout the boat. You get one of those every now and again. It's just a breaker hitting the boat at an innopportune moment. I went to the toilet and back to sleep.

I was up the bridge today and it's not that bad. I've seen far worse. It's 7-10 metres at best (worst?). Some nice big green waves though. So ye need not worry. The tummy is still good enough to have breakfast and I just had a shrimp sandwich. It is getting tiresome though so I may take a tablet. All this hanging on is tiring.

Apart from that, I'm slightly frustrated with my co-worker who just babbles on at a rate of knots in stops and starts and then contradicts himself if he ever made sense in the first place.

I'm also frustrated that Ireland are drawing with the Swiss whilst the froggies are romping home 3-0 against Cyprus. Will they ever get a goal....pleeeeeaaase!